POT POURRI

Ever wondered why you can get

on with some people and not with

others?

Using techniques now being

applied to make businesses run

more smoothly, “people trainer”

and consultant Andrew Fawkes

describes how the Greek word for

nine can help you better

understand other people - and

yourself.

So what type are YOU?

14

MATURE TIMES JULY 2006

EVER BEEN TO A party where you

didn't know anyone when you

arrived? What did you do?

Chances are that you liked the look

of someone and wandered over to start

a conversation. Once in the

conversation, you felt accepted, safe

even. But oh dear, three minutes later

you're wondering how to extricate

yourself from the conversation without

appearing rude. You may not be aware

that your fellow conversationalist is

wondering why you picked them and

how they can get rid of you... politely

of course!

It's highly likely that on the way

home from same party you're reflecting

on a great conversation or a new

friendship and perhaps wondering why

you got on so famously (and why you

didn't pick them when you first entered

the room!).

This scenario is familiar because we

know nothing of people we see for the

first time, except what we see. Our

frame of reference for judging what we

see is made up of our own lifetime's

experiences plus countless other

generations of inherited human

development.

How many times have we been

pleasantly surprised by a well-

mannered punk, complete with chain

connecting his ear stud to his nose stud.

Or been disappointed by the ill-

mannered, well dressed, gentleman

behind a counter. We are all familiar

with this sort of “stereotyping”. Why

should I expect a punk to be ill-

mannered? Or a well dressed middle-

aged person to be pleasant?

I use these examples to illustrate

that the “problem” lies with us. It's our

own preferences, idealisms, prejudices,

beliefs, etc. that determine our

approach to other people. If our

approach is negative, is it surprising

that the target of our approach may

confirm our belief? If you believe that

all Volvo drivers are poor drivers, it's

likely that you'll eventually be

confirmed in your opinion if you wait

long enough to see a Volvo driver's

error. How many other, non-Volvo

drivers' errors you've missed on the way

is irrelevant... or is it?

The fact is that we all limit our

awareness to what we regard as

important. We focus on health issues

more when we are ill or know someone

who's ill. It's natural. However, the real

benefit is when we become aware of

things that we are not aware we are

not aware of... if you get my drift!

This is where the Enneagram comes

in.

Hands up if you've heard of the

Enneagram. No? Well that's not

surprising. When I ask that question in

groups of people, I rarely see a hand

raised and usually see blank faces with

a hint of curiosity. It's not that the

subject is a secret, far from it, simply

that it hasn't been promoted much and

that's because it usually needs

explaining face to face. But it has

already helped many thousands of

people around the world.

The simplest definition is that it is a

personality typing system that identifies

each of nine distinct ways of thinking,

feeling and behaving. However, it's not

about categorising all of the world's

population into nine groups and that's

that. Far from it. We are all individual

and unique. What we do all share is a

preferred pattern of personality that

was created in our earliest, pre-verbal,

years as a means of gaining love and

affection from those around us. Whilst

such a strategy may have helped us

then, it may not be the best strategy

now that we are a little older (and

wiser?). Unfortunately, we are unaware

of this default pattern of behaviour

despite the fact that we have been

practising and making it perfect for

many years.

The nine personality styles are:

1 Perfectionist - attention goes to what

is incorrect/imperfect

2 Giver - attention goes to the

perceived needs of others

3 Achiever - attention goes to getting

things done/being successful

4 Idealist - attention goes to what is

missing

5 Observer - attention goes to gaining

knowledge

6 Questioner - attention goes to

danger or negativity

7 Epicure - attention goes to variety

and positive possibilities

8 Protector - attention goes to justice

and fairness

9 Mediator - attention goes to harmony

and others' agendas

So how can the Enneagram help?

Once we become aware of which of the

nine styles is our own, we can then

begin to see why we repeat some

patterns of behaviour. When we use the

phrase “there I go again” it often

indicates how we demonstrate our type

to others. Awareness means we can

then choose to carry on using that

behaviour, or to amend it or abandon it

in some circumstances. There will be

people around you that you get on well

with, despite the fact that you

seemingly share little in common. It is

likely that they are the same type as you

or at least a complementary style.

This is where the Enneagram has

such power. It not only identifies your

type, which only we as individuals can

validate, but also explains how and why

we are likely to behave when under

stress or when we're at our best. Once

we're aware of this, we can work with

it. Simple really.

Of course, it's not that simple. After

all, we are dealing with the whole

human race here! However, many

thousands of people talking about

themselves in interviews and in panel

groups have validated the Enneagram

model within the western psychological

community in the last 75 years or so.

The roots of the Enneagram date back

to 1,250 BC, so why haven't more

people heard of it?

I believe that the Enneagram has a

positive part to play in improving our

self-awareness and therefore how we

react to other people. This can only be a

good thing, whether we're talking

about couples, teams in business,

religious communities or international

relations. It all starts with us as

individuals.

So the next time you find yourself at

a party where you don't know anyone,

try wandering over for a chat with the

person who you think you would be

least likely to get on with. You may not

have correctly selected your next

bosom-buddy, but you will have

overcome your default type... then try

asking them if they've heard of the

Enneagram!

Andrew Fawkes is a member of the

Association of Enneagram Teachers in

the Narrative Tradition - find out more

about enneagrams and which "type"

you are, drop onto

www.enneagramworldwide.com

SEVERAL MONTHS ago, a modestly-sized

advertisement appeared in Mature Times

advertising for “Inventory Clerks”.

In the words of Letcheck MD Adrian Kelly,

“It has unearthed a whole army of people

keen to use their experience and life skills -

exactly the abilities we value the most”.

As companies running recruitment ads in

MT have discovered before, there’s a wealth

of talent out there waiting to be tapped into.

For Adrian it has enabled him to expand his

business, which involves acting for property

owners and letting agents around the South

East and London areas, carefully compiling

reports on the state of a property before –

and after – it has been occupied. In Adrian’s

words, “The best people to do this work are

those with good life experience and

traditional values. To my mind the most

reliable and conscientious Clerks are almost

always over 50”.

The sort of skills needed, says Adrian can

be taught very quickly to someone who is

patient and observant. And, above all, has

common sense. “A short training programme

and people are off and running,” he says.

“The MT readers who have come to work for

us understand the difference between fair

wear and tear and damage that would have

to be paid for.

“The work we do is very varied- from

checking a young couple into their first

shared home to creating an inventory for a

£1million penthouse apartment.

The owners and tenants are a broad mix of

people too and, as the Housing Act

2004 has introduced new responsibilities

on Landlords, carrying out professional

inventories will become increasingly

important.”

Letcheck currently undertake around a

hundred inventories a week – a figure that’s

set to grow as the company expands into

other parts of the UK. The work they are

offering is full or part time, to suit the

individual, people work from home and the

only tools of the trade they need are a PC and

a car.

“Age isn’t an issue,” says Adrian. “It’s the

skills, experience and attitude we’re after –

and that’s what your readers have given us.”

If you’d like to know more about a career

as an inventory clerk, you can call Adrian on

0845 226 1960 or email him on

info@letcheck.net

Check out a new career as an inventory clerk

Are you mouseproud?

Digital Unite and Age Concern are on the prowl

for the UK's Silver Surfers of the Year. These are

older people with commendable IT skills, who

can inspire others. Nominate your favourite

mouseworker (it could be a colleague, a friend or

relative, someone you have trained, or even

yourself) by July 21, 2006, and they could win

cash prizes of up to £100.

Use your mouse to get a nomination form at:

www.silversurfer.org.uk/awards.html

Winners will be invited to Westminster in

October to be presented their awards by Stephen

Timms, MP.

And on a webby theme, MT’s longstanding

webmaster, Martyn Davies, has launched a new

website for all of you out there with Welsh

leanings.

Did you, for instance, know that Kylie Minogue

is half Welsh? Or that Rolf Harris was born in

Cardiff? Did you know that a Welsh mathematician

invented the equals sign? No? Then you need

Ffaith. Ffaith, Welsh for fact, is BrynmawrScene's

latest project. It is a coffee-time compendium of

Welsh fact that anyone can edit. Even you...

especially you. The compendium has over 300

pages, but more are needed!

You are invited to pop over to Ffaith and have a

read, if you spot anything or anyone that hasn't got

an entry yet, you can start a new article - full

instructions are included on the site. Articles don't

have to be long encyclopedic entries, just a

paragraph or two with the salient facts will do.

Ffaith can be found on:

http://ffaith.brynmawrscene.net

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